Lately, l had this sinking feeling that depression, or what I thought it to be was getting the better of me. For me it is a cycle, though not clinical in nature to require professional help, that I have to deal with once in while. I guess it was compounded by the fact that I’m getting bored living and working my @ss off here in Singapore, feeling like a square peg in a round hole. I just don’t fit in, or so it seems. Maybe it was the post holiday sydrome, or the middle age sydrome (technically I’m still in my youth if you go by the definition that youth is up to 35), or a combination of one, two or more factors.

But if I really take stock of my life, it’s far from the quagmire that I’m feeling or trying to portray. I’m in good health, save for my allergic rhinitis and hearing problem (I’m failing on high frequencies) which I came to know only during a routine executive medical check up last year. I guess it’s an occupational hazard spending donkey years with industrial machines that belch high frequency alarms that will drive you nuts. I have a relatively good (paying) job more than enough to put food on the table, a loving and charming wife, three beautiful kids (they’re quite a handful,btw). Madrama lang siguro ako minsan.

Anyway, I’m picking up the pieces recently and promised myself to look at the bright side. With recent tragedies, you can really see how precarious life is and if I delve to much feeling sorry for myself over trivial things, real or imagined, I may not have enough time to be a better person that I’m trying to be, to show affection to all those that I love and to enjoy life to the fullest.

A good dose of positive thinking and prayers really do wonders!

Advertisements