October 2004

Alam ko na kung bakit ganoon na lang kabigat ang dating sa akin ng mga unos sa buhay ko dito sa Singapore. Dati-rati kasi, no mattter how deep I was in whatever shit (disgusting Tagalog translation: lubog sa tae ng kung anu-ano at ng kung sinu-sino), I find solace and serenity in knowing that these are just ephemeral. Sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na bukas makalawa nasa Pinas na naman ako.

That was 9 years ago! Heto ako ngayon, in the same shit I was, whining every second of my waking hour or rather working hour. Classic burn out lang siguro. Naghahanap-hanap na nga ako ng malilipatan. Hopefully by next year bago na ang work environment ko.

Hope buoys us through life, and recent series of events sa Pinas tells me that my hopes are dashed. Hindi uubrang bumalik ako ng Pinas (for good) in the next 5 years or so. In the best interest pa rin na pamilya ko na mamalagi kami rito.


Taken few minutes before our roll in the hay. Me holding the local beer, tiger, on my right, while my all-time favorite GRO, Sallie, snugly wrapped around my left. It’s a little bit late, so it’s just the two of us and it’s drizzling outside. It’s so quiet, we can almost hear our heartbeat. Hmmmn.. Feeling a bit tipsy, I’m officially declaring it a weekend, a badly needed relief from this turbulent week.

I was practically tossed and turned the whole week, everyone seems to be a f*^cking as%h@!e . Okay not all of them, just a few who really stink in time of crises. I pride myself as a resilient person, I’ll be fine.

My wife was retrenched. Yehey! I’m actually happy for her, although I know that it hurts somehow, she is waiting for this day to arrive: walking away from her stinking company and get compensated in the process. I may seem to be biased, but with her competence, she really deserves a better place.

We are extending our Pinas holiday to one month as she no longer in conflict with her work sked, obviously.


Tuloy na tuloy na ang uwi namin sa Pinas. Excited na pati ang mga bata. Kinuha ko na kanina yung ticket namin, obvious ba yung picture sa kaliwa?

Three weeks kaming mamalagi sa pinakamamahal kong bansa. With all it’s imperfections, I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to this trip. I will get to see Nanay and the rest of the gang. Di nga lang kami aabot ng Pasko because of work conflict.

I’m not so sober as I’m blogging this, so pardon me if things seem incoherent. I bought couple of booze on my home with the intent of washing away this inauspicious day. Things got worse as the days wears off so a tranquilizer is a much welcome relief.

Eight years ago, this kind of stress build up would merit few sticks of marlboro red–and of course the booze. But that was my previous life, I called it quits after 12 years of puffing that cancer inducer. I’m now finding solace in the presence of my rowdy kids and my loving wife–and of course a little booze. A passionate lovemaking would surely drown out whatever’s left of the crap that I’m feeling right now.

Day started as anxious as can be: missed the lift, annoyed by the wave of traffic red lights, missed the company bus, petc. It was worse at work. Although I expected this day to be really a struggle, I never expected my invertebrate boss to add up to the confusion by suggesting a rather distorted priorites.


I stayed back to argue, yes, argue and I won’t be using that politically correct word discuss to describe my encounter with that moron production supervisor. Maybe we bicker more, with me dominating the arena. This is not the first time he was hard on my engineering operator, and I won’t let him get away without a good tounge-lashing. He wants to play hardball, so be it. So much for the niceties, welcome Mr. Hyde!

You see I have people (engineering operators) under my wings who work 24/7. One of them (btw, all of them are girls) was complaining about the constant bullying of this moron who is somehow adding bureaucratic red tape to all the things that my EO is doing. I told him that if that is really his stand (btw, this moron is a singaporean–most of them are), at least have the balls to declare it so it can be deliberated on.

You cannot get something by putting someone into defensive, that’s just what I did.

with kupal’s (just give the guy any name) insistence, you are not, under any circumstances, allowed to directly approach any personnel from their department for any assistance without informing him. Please adhere strictly.

That was the extract of my email and I put my boss and his on the copy list to maximize the effect. I know it will trigger a chain reaction, which what I wanted. I’m pissed, better get everybody on the same boat and have the same sinking feeling.

Tomorrow is another day….

–or less rice sa English…

See the similarities sa Tagalog at Malay? Kurang, parang kulang.

‘Yan ang dapat mong sasabihin tuwing oorder ka ng makan (food) sa Malay food stalls dito sa Singapore kung medyo conscious ka sa calorie intake mo. Sandamakmak sila kung maglagay ng kanin, hindi dahil sa mukhang construction worker ka o masiba, ganoon kasi silang kumain kay ang assumption nila, ganoon ka rin.

Mas madalas na Malay food ang kinakain ko, hindi dahil sa converted na ako, mas malasa lang kasi ang timpla nila. Mahilig din silang mag-gata na akmang-akma sa panlasa kong Bicolano, uusok nga lang ang tumbong mo sa anghang!

Sa edad kong ito (to save you the trouble, 35 fyi) napapansin kong bumabagal na ang metabolism ko. Unless na magdadagdag ako ng exercise regime, dapat kontralado ang intake. Gaya nga ng sabi sa National Geographic, simple lang naman yan, pag kumain ka at hind mo nasunog, they will be stored as fat. Be it protein, carbo or fat.

Not that I’m thinking na magiging candidate ako sa gastric bypass, never that I know of na tumataas sa 1.o ang waist-to-hip ratio ko (ideal ballpark figure para sa male–0.9 sa bebot), iwas problema lang. Prevention is the best cure ika nga.

I was in nirvana yesterday, only for a moment…

Midmorning was cool, an oddity here in Singapore; the 2 boys were playing with their Yugi-Oh cards peacefully, also an oddity; Abby was in dreamland, a usual routine; the aroma of ginataang kalabasa at sitaw with alimasag, mylabsi was cooking it, seeping on every corner of the house.

There I was, a battered soul from the grinds of work and paternal responsibilities, almost at the conclusion of The Testament by John Grisham, settled at the full leather Italian couch I bought few months back. Surprisingly, I felt very light and tranquil. No aches and pain. If only I could freeze the time. What are the odds that these can happen at the same time?

Then the world came to its senses, back to its usual self.

How I wish I could have more of that moment. I heard Palawan was not in the route of typhoons from the Pacific and not even situated in any faultlines. I was thinking of getting a property there (hopefully I can afford it) to spend our golden years.

The beach is calling me every minute of my waking hours and even in my slumberworld. So once I’m done with all my responsibilities and save enough for retirement, you would definitely need to be on a chartered flight to the western side of Pinas if you want to have a chat with us. In most likelihood, you will catch us (me and my Sallie of course), cuddled at the hammock on our beach house, seeping beer or tequila and maybe a good book at hand.

Dream on…

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